The meaning of the job

It is coming to the end of my time on clinical placement, the 15th of August to be exact. I do think I'm going to miss it, but I will certainly not miss the 5am starts! I have learnt a fair amount, I could have pushed myself and learnt more but as a first year you must stick to your boundaries set out on paper. Tis' rubbish, very restricting.

On occasions it's been difficult, upsetting and heartbreaking. For example; yesterday I was assisting a CCF patient to the toilet. On our way she was telling me about how her and her husband used to be a respectable couple, clean and well kept. 'Now I'm just swollen and I smell', she sobbed. What can I do? How do you comfort someone who is feeling down?

'Every night I pray to get out of this place, I never knew I'd ever see hell but now I have. Why can't god just take me out of my misery'

This lady is extremely depressed and she looked to me for answers I couldn't give. I could only offer a warm hand and a shoulder to cry on. Once again I broke down inside.

After lunch I spent some time with an Alzheimer's patient. She has been in bed the whole time she has been on the ward, but she is in the end stage of her condition. She lacks insight and understanding and is very restless at times.

It was dinner time and I was feeding her. I encouraged her that she was doing well, I asked if she liked vegetables and we joked about horrible brockley. She smiled and she laughed. She ate her way through her dinner with no problems and desert too. She then took my face in her hands and told me that she loved me.

Through her confusion and frustration she was able to string together three little words of appreciation.

'I Love You'

It made my day.

That is why I chose to be a nurse.